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October 8, 2010

Please do not be my neighbor

On the first day we moved in, an elderly man in an Ohio sweatshirt knocked on our door. He explained the garbage pick up to me, which I was grateful for, but kept peering over my shoulder. I found it odd, and brushed it off.

Now, 4 months into living here, we know the deal: we've got a nosy neighbor problem. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I prefer the fleas-- at least they mind their own business.

In the 4 months since we've been here, our neighbor, (who I'll refer to as Harry), has warned us about the Terminex sales guy, told us about his successful son, suggested I help his wife with her computer, mocked my paper laterns on the porch, and made comments about our lawn. He's harmless, but I do have urges to punch him in the face. Harry approaches me every time I'm outside, without fail. When my friends come over on Wednesday nights, I've noticed that his head pokes out of his door, curious. He's come on to the porch while I'm sanding chairs, practically begging for an invitation inside. Just yesterday, I checked my mail, and out of the corner of my eye, there's Harry, coming out of his house, walking across the lawn.

I know that he's merely curious; if I lived in the neighborhood for 28 years, I'd wonder what the house across the street looked like inside, too. He wants to know about us so he can feel safe. That's all fine and good, but he needs to take a tip from the other neighbors and just be cool.

How do you deal with neighbors?

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I hope you say nice things, but if you don't, I'll get over it eventually.